There are some things that never change

There are some things that never change

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Like waking to these glorious mornings, the morning seeping into your eyes, blinding you momentarily. Clearing your thoughts from all those thing that were, all those things that never were, and all those that never will be.

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And your arm is numb. Probably because it has lost some blood for being crawled up underneath your body for too long. When you use your other arm to move it carefully, it starts tingling. Merciless tingling. Your arm is laughing at you, and there is nothing you can do about it.

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And then you just go on, breaking your bones, your vows and your heart,

For nothing ever really changes.

Neverwhere

I only ever need you when you’re away

As I only know you through distance

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You shed hours and minutes in my hair

And they rip and tear

At my hair, my eyes

and my heart

They rip and tear

And I know you there

Just there

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Neverwhere

Nuanced

She renders words useless

And the strands of time are like

Ever-changing dreams in her never-changing world

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She has lost her battles, but won the war

And there are cracks in every breath she draws

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Sometimes forever is just around the corner

Sometimes only nothing remain

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And when she sings

She sings of all those things that never were

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Sometimes bits of everything crumble like bits of bread

In yesterday’s tepid coffee

And sometimes you spill last month’s promises

All over this month’s charm

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Words from the bible clinging to my wrists

Like sticky bits of sugar

Offering momentarily relief

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You did not come all this way just to go back

You did not come all this way to flinch and fall

I knew you before you could even walk, let along talk

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And now you’re talking in tongues

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Aske

Et tåkesløret blikk

Du drypper av oppbrukte drømmer

Var dette alt du fikk

Et liv vevd av piggtråd sømmer?

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Langs askefarvet hud

Trår smerten velkjente stier

Den følger kun ett bud

For blod er din befrier

-

Jeg var en gang som deg

Lenket i mørkets mektige grener

Det føltes som styrkens vei

Men de var dødens, ikke livets, tjener

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Choices

You turn and turn and turn again,

until there is nowhere left turning.

And then, when you’re back at the beginning,

you know just how lost you are.

Anybody else

Jeg var noen andre da. Oransje sommerfuglvinger festet med klesklyper til sølvtråder. Men jeg var aldri det heller. Klypene var for trange. Vingene var frihet, fanget frihet. Jeg vet bedre enn å klynge meg til en kjerne av Væren, jeg vet jeg ikke er annet enn øyeblikket. Men hvordan går en da vill? Hvordan går en vill utenfor øyeblikket?

Jeg skulle alltid være her, uforståelig som det nå føles. Jeg krøp meg hit, på blodige knær. Blod gjør huden rosa og sukkersøt. Du vri deg selv fra utsiden og inn for å bli alt det du ”skal bli”, alt som er så egentlig og ekte. Men når du står på fjelltoppen din har du ikke lengre å dra, ikke mer å krype mot. Jeg tror mange slike fjell faller i grus og sand.

Jeg kjenner tanken. Gi slipp på å være en kjerne som ikke finnes, gi slipp på å være Noe og bare være. Men jeg klarer ikke gjøre tanken til min egen.

Child

Were did you go, child

with the weight of the world on your shoulders

with promises made for tomorow

broken last year

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Where did you go, child

with the words that were never yours

with the time you borrowed to exist

with all you never could be

-

Where did you go, child

with the cold and the dark of never

with the ruins of your life

spread out before you were born

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Linger

I’ve gone from here until tomorrow,

Yesterday lingering in each step I take

Towards a new forever

 

And I’ve run all the way from last week

Bare feet against the coldness of the past

But all remains the same

Veils of gray

Colours of night within ours of day

Veils of never forever in gray

(Once you knew how to live and play

But tomorrow life is forever astray)